FeElInG aLiVe

Every now and then, someone comes along.
Someone who changes your life completely.
Someone who changes your perspective on what love is, and what life is.
And for me, that person was you.

I love your cute little voice, and when it breaks.
I love your smile, and those puppy dog eyes.
I love spending my every second of my day with you.

I'd love to describe how i feel for you,but the dictionary didn't have strong enough words!
they say a picture is worth a thousand words...
but I'm not nearly good enough at drawing.
so you'll just have to trust me, you'll just have to believe in me when i say
"you're the best that I'll ever have"

God I'm pathetic!!!

EhHhHh WhAtEvEr

Hmmm... dont know what to write about. Im bored as hell!!! And theres stupid kids screamming outside!!! for no reason!!! they just deside its okay to scream!!! whats there problem?!?! I'm sleepy!!! and have to make dinner!!! still no clue what to make!! maybe some chicken par or something... no worries I'll cook up something! haha tommorrows tuesday!!!!! i like tuesdays!!! haha!!!!

ToMmOrRoW ..(uGh)

Today was BOREING!!! but i know tommorrow wont be that boreing!!! Cause Reading usually goes by fast, and Yoga... maybe not so much , but reading lab is quick too so it shouldnt be all bad.... ok who am i kidding the real reason why i am excited is cause HE will be there. but im sad. cause i know he'll only be my friend. thats it. the reason why im sad. Im not sad cause hes my friend, im just sad cause thats all he'll ever be, a friend.... that it unless i say something. but the question is...what? what can i possibly say? i have to say something, but im afriad i'll say something stupid. gah help me!!!!

JuSt WhAtS oN mY mInD

Today was ruff. reading was boreing and yoga hurt! owch! But all day, couldnt stop thinking of him. And still cant. This is so weird. I dont understand why i get so nervious and happy around him. And i dont undersatnd why i cant just talk to him! i know everytime i get home i say okay now tommorrow your gonna go up to him and ask him out! But i get there and i get nervious and dont know what to say. Instead of saying "Hey, whats up?" i say somthing dumb like "Can i borrow a pen?" UGH IM SO STUPID!!!... although i did get his pen... which was good cause then I wouldve had to actually go all the way deep in my bag and stuggle all the way passed those hudge books and dig all for a pen. Justa pen. All that when I could just ask the nice hott boy for a pen. Not "Do you wanna hang out?" Ofcouse not! I had to be the dumbass to ask for a pen. hey, maybe thursday when i get to scared to ask him out,I'll ask for a pencil, cause i think i lost the pen...

CaNt SlEeP

Ever just think about a person like all day? You dont quite understand whats wrong with you or even why this guy is in your head constantly?!?!?! I dont quite get it? Ive never felt... this feeling i have... its a weird feeling... happy feeling... something ive never felt before in my life... a feeling that makes me feel alive. But then theirs this problem. A different problem that takes away the feeling. And no matter what you do to get rid of that problem it keeps comming back... back to completely make you feel like shit... and no matter what you do or say it wont go away at all... that thought... that one nasty thought... the thought that makes you restless... all night tossing and turning just waiting till you see him... so he can get your mind off it all, off everything and anything at all.... eh who am i kidding you have no clue what im talking about... haha

UhHhH wHaT EvEr

Im so tired! im stressed... cant take this bull shit anymore... sometimes its not even worth it! none of it is... im sick of the yelling, im sick of the fights, im sick of always being in fear, and i want it all to go away! the only thing keeping me together is HIM.<3

My FiRsT bLoG

my first blog... to be honest idk what to write... alot of stuff has been happening and i thought i would "let it out" but it seems that doing that is harder then i thought. I thought it would be easy just write a bunch of things and how your feeling. but i feel like some of those feelings are hard to........ uhhhh.... express i suppose. i mean, its not like ppl will actually care what i have to say. why would my opinion matter? idk. maybe im just upset that i miss asj.... nope thats deffinatly it. i miss my home. where i grew up. where i learned like alot. where i made friends and family that i never wanna lose. it made me sad to walk out that building and know that i may never walk in it again... that i may never see my asj family again. I feel like im empty like theres alot missing from my life now.... almost as if im not complete. im not as happy as i used to be or as energetic. i fake a smile or even a laugh just so ppl can think im okay. but sometimes its hard to fake something like that when deep down you know your lieing to everyone who is close to you. ive never felt like this before...EVER... and i know most of you really dont care. but incase you do... thats it..... well kinda. really not even half of my story....