My FiRsT bLoG

my first blog... to be honest idk what to write... alot of stuff has been happening and i thought i would "let it out" but it seems that doing that is harder then i thought. I thought it would be easy just write a bunch of things and how your feeling. but i feel like some of those feelings are hard to........ uhhhh.... express i suppose. i mean, its not like ppl will actually care what i have to say. why would my opinion matter? idk. maybe im just upset that i miss asj.... nope thats deffinatly it. i miss my home. where i grew up. where i learned like alot. where i made friends and family that i never wanna lose. it made me sad to walk out that building and know that i may never walk in it again... that i may never see my asj family again. I feel like im empty like theres alot missing from my life now.... almost as if im not complete. im not as happy as i used to be or as energetic. i fake a smile or even a laugh just so ppl can think im okay. but sometimes its hard to fake something like that when deep down you know your lieing to everyone who is close to you. ive never felt like this before...EVER... and i know most of you really dont care. but incase you do... thats it..... well kinda. really not even half of my story....